To Post or Not to Post…Pics of Your Kids?

BW portrait of sad crying little boy covers his face with handsA couple of years ago, an absolutely creepy application was released on Facebook during the Halloween season. It’s an interactive short film that shows a grungy and crazed looking man rifling through your Facebook page, accessing all your information and finding out where you live. The application actually uses the contents of your Facebook page to up the creep factor to dizzying heights.

The application is called “Take This Lollipop” and to enter the site, you are dared to click on a lollipop with a razor blade in it. The app then asks for temporary access to the information on your Facebook page. The application uses your data in the short film and then promptly deletes all your data and access permission. To date, it has had almost 14 million views.

The application is a brilliant piece of work, but I warn you, it is scary in an “Oh my god! I need to pick up my child from school right now!” kind of way. It’s brilliant because it changed how I thought about something which I had, to this point, taken for granted. It made me think more deeply about the information that is available on the internet about me, my family and my friends.

The creator, Jason Zada, who happens to be a commercial and viral marketing director, came up with this piece of horrifying film as a way to draw attention to online privacy. Zada’s desire was to create “something that messed with people”, “to get under people’s skin without any gore or anything” and to promote discussion about online privacy.

The application did its job…a little too effectively, if you ask me. I was so creeped that I refused to watch it as part of the preparation of writing this post. Once was enough, thank you very much!

He goes on to say, “Our privacy was dead a while back and will never be the same,” he said. “Life as a whole has changed. If you look at the video, the scariest part is that your information is in the video. The piece is scary because a person is violating your privacy, not because it’s bloody or there’s anything jumping out.”

To post or not to post your child’s picture online? That is the question.

Online, there is a very active and ongoing discussion about whether or not you are a bad parent if you post pictures of your child on Facebook (or any other social media site).

You’re bad if you do.

People in this camp adamantly say you should never post anything about your children. Two of the best reasoned arguments are: (1) to protect your child’s identity and safety and (2) to provide your grown child with a clean slate with regards to their personal image and branding.

You’re bad if you don’t.

The world has gotten very small and part of how this has happened is the level and extensiveness of connectivity provided by the internet. The argument on this side of the fence is that technology and the internet are a part of our culture. Social media has changed how the world functions and to keep your child disconnected technologically is to isolate them socially.

Frankly, I have never been one to sit on one side of a fence or another. I find that issues like this are more nuanced than the two opposing and extreme positions presented.

My personal response to the “to post or not to post” question is be wise about what you post.

A few rules you may want to consider when posting pictures of kids:

1. Do not out your child regarding their less than stellar behavior. No-one wants to be reminded of the times they behaved badly – not even you. It’s best to move on from bad days.

2. Do not post pictures of their embarrassing moments – tripping, falling, etc. Wasn’t being humiliated once enough?

3. No bathtub shots or anything provocative.

4. Kids sleeping. I know, they’re really cute and angelic when they’re sleeping, right? However, this feels to me like invading their privacy without their knowledge, so I personally don’t do it.

6. Public displays of affection. I get that the first kiss is special, but really?

7. No posts of those pictures they told you not to take in the first place. “No” means “no”.

8. Anything that can be used to identify your child’s location (team logos, school banners, mapped locations).

9. Use strict privacy settings. However, be aware that it doesn’t matter if you have the highest of privacy settings as a picture can quickly get beyond your personal list of friends.

10. Monitor your child’s Facebook page.

12. Do not use your child’s picture as your Facebook cover or profile picture. These are automatically made public and can easily be found on Google images.

11. Let your children view your Facebook page, using it as a tool to teach about what is appropriate and safe to post. Show them what good online habits look like by practicing them yourself.

12. Do not tag your friends’ children’s pictures without getting their permission first. This is just plain rude.

By now, all parents should be aware that anything that goes online is permanent. What you ultimately decide to do with your children’s privacy online is your decision. When I’m not sure what to do, I think about how I would feel if someone did to me whatever I am considering doing. In really ambiguous situations, I err on the side of caution and don’t do it.

Question: Are there pictures of you on a social network that you wish weren’t there? What did you do about it?